What does THAT mean?

If only I could invent a software application for mobile phones. More specifically, for text messages. I would call it "Read Between The Lines". Every time you receive a text message from a boy, it automatically rewrites it in a language you can understand. All those innocuous comments and miscellaneous x's can be translated into plain English. "I like you." "I like you but I don't really want to be tied down right now." "I am not really that interested but I'll keep this going just in case." "Please, go away."

Just say it like it is. x

Good Friday

Yes, yes indeed it was.

Just thought you'd like to know!

Just thought I'd like to know? Just thought I'd like to know that I have been eating, all this time, a product which COULD have been made with 80% less saturated fat, but hasn't been until now. Why? What makes you think I'd like to know that you have knowingly and deliberately been making crisps soaked with lard when it is possible to make crisps not soaked with lard? Now, I believe in personal responsibility and I am not about to blame W*lkers for my inability to control my intake of saturated fat, because yes, it was I who made the choice to eat them, and watch with apathy as the scales increased year after year: however, if we rented a vehicle from Time Travellers R Us, and we went back to say 1999 (my first taste of Quavers, not just a random year) and from that day forth we made them with 80% less saturated fat, I think it is possible that you'll find that it would not only be the crisps that are less lardy: I would be too.