Not your average Friday night

So there I was sitting in the pub with my friends, drinking a Peroni and talking about Stuff, and the next thing I knew I was looking at a penis. With a metal bar through the tip. In the pub. A penis. It's not really par for the course on any given night out, hence this specific mention. You will be clamouring for the whowhatwhenwherewhy detail, and I shall oblige.

Dellboy: "Everyone, my friend (let's call him) Al is joining us. He has a penis piercing."
The rest of us: "Really? How interesting and well, quite gross, but thanks for introducing us to his name and his penis in the same breath."

Later that evening.

Dellboy: "Everyone this is Al. Al, this is everyone."
The rest of us: "Hi Al, we know about...you know, your penis. Do tell."

And he did.

The rest of us: "Can we have a lookie?" Not thinking for one second he would. Again, he did.

So many levels. Wrong.

Dear Goddess Who Sends Men for Women,
When picking out the man for me, please ensure that the Unpierced Penis box is ticked, bolded and underlined.
Thank you in advance. A lot.
P.S. Please, no penis piercings. I hope you understand.


Here's the bit for my fellow Fact Geeks:

Palang involves piercing the glans of the penis horizontally and
the insertion of a barbell. This item of jewellery is called an ampalang. It originated in the tribes who inhabit the island of Borneo. The term palang translates as "crossbar" and can be related to the timber roof supports of the longhouses of the tribes of the area, and symbolises the protective power of the male over the family.

(I assure you this is not the explanation Al provided as to the Why Would You?)

And for your visual pleasure, in case you were having trouble imagining it.