I join the gym

This is not a first. There was a time when I could run 5km in 20 minutes. That's on a treadmill and I am 5 foot 1 and 3/4. That's quite fast. Anyway, 2 years, an engagement ring, and 3 and a half stone later, I have finally done it.... I've let myself go.

I have 282 days before I put on my Honeypie-esque dress and 'fatty bride' is not an option.

Enter Virgin Active. 'We don't do deals. We charge you extraordinary amounts of cash because we can, and because you will pay it.' The hook was the assurance by a tracksuited blonde (ha) that becoming a member would certainly help to increase my confidence. You what? You will be disappointed to hear that I let that one pass.

Today's schedule went like this:

- Powerplate warm-up (5 mins). Fuck me, that works.
- Punching bag (10 mins). Got knocked off my feet by My Loved One. Well into that he was.
- Rowing (10 mins).
- Cross-trainer (20 mins). "Come on honey, make it 25."   "No."
- Swimming (15mins). Maybe 8 laps....but mostly frolicking.

My back hurts and I'm hungry.

I don't want to

Let it be known that I do not want winter this year. I am not ready for it and it is not welcome. It will mean the purchasing of a winter coat. It will mean venturing out to be beaten up by rain and wind. It means darkness at the time of day when we should all be partaking in Afternoon Tea. It's also the 155 night bus home at freezing cold o'clock.

No to winter this year, you may keep it.